"At the
age of 10, I was adopted by my mother's new husband. He was a very quiet man who
never talked much about himself, or shared feelings. Having lost my biological
father at an early age, I never really learned how to have a close father/son
relationship.
After my
children were grown, my mother became very ill and eventually died. My wife and
I were very concerned because my father seemed lost without my mother, and we
needed to find a way to communicate with him. That's when I began to bring the
BioBinder Cherished Memories - The Story of My Life with me when I visited my
father. I told him that I wanted to interview him and learn more about his life.
That was the beginning of a new relationship. Not only did it open the door for
me to fully understand and appreciate him, but he realized that I really loved
him and cared enough about him to want to understand his life. His self esteem
improved, his depression improved, and even his grandchildren began to interact
with him and couldn't wait to hear the stories each week.
What I
learned was that his mother died when he was only 4 years old. The day of her
death, his 2 year old sister was taken away and placed elsewhere. His father rotated
him in homes of various relatives since he traveled and was unable to care for
him or his sister. He learned to just be quiet, not bother anyone, keep his thoughts
to himself, and just be grateful for the roof over his head. Now I understood
why he was not a good communicator and didn't share feelings.
What really
amazed me was the fact that he did very well in high school, most of which was
spent living in an apartment alone. The day after Pearl Harbor, he enlisted in
the Army to help defend his country. He rose through the ranks to Captain. After
the war he went on to college, and graduated with honors. He eventually started
his own CPA practice, and with no help or assistance from anyone, he became successful.
Now I understood and admired him for having achieved everything on his own.
I now realize
that after he married my mother, it was an act of selfless courage that he adopted
her 2 sons, ages 10 and 12. He may not have known how to verbalize his love for
us, but he always made sure we were safe and cared for. Then came the shock as
we continued the interview. We learned that he had not seen his sister in about
40 years. We decided to arrange a reunion. We took him to Hawaii and videoed a
beautiful emotional reunion. We then gave his sister the BioBinder Cherished Memories
- The Story of My Life, and she immediately began completing her life story. With
laughter and tears, they were amazed at what they learned from each other about
their journey through life, and in spite of the separation, they realized they
loved each other.
All of
this opened up my father's heart, and he was now affectionate and communicative
with me and with the family. I consider this a miracle, because shortly thereafter
my father suddenly died. I feel that events never would have unfolded to provide
such perfect closure to his life if it weren't for the interview process we began
by using the BioBinder Cherished Memories - The Story of My Life.
Nobody knows what tomorrow
brings, so I'm hoping that everyone reading this will capture their life story
and the lives of their loved ones."
Ken
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